What’s Their Game? Celebs at the Casino

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It’s tough at the top. When they’re not busy conquering the world’s front pages or giving hungry paparazzi the runabout, busy A-list celebrities like to kick back and chill. One of the best ways to let off a little steam and have some fun is to spend some quality time playing a classic casino game or two.

Maybe you’re the leader of the free world, a fame-hungry pop icon, or married to Kim Kardashian. Either way, there’s a casino game with your name on it! We’ve examined the evidence to make some educated guesses as to what casino games celebs might choose.

Do you agree? Would you choose a different game? Do you want to bet on it? Have fun!

 

Kanye West

Age: 39
Profession: Musician
Celeb status: Red hot
Famous for: Sold 30 million downloads, five platinum albums, 18 Grammys, interrupted Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards and is married to selfie queen, Kim Kardashian.

NOMINATED GAME: BLACKJACK

To some, he’s the American Mozart. To others, an egotistical maniac: short on talent but big on braggadocio. Whatever your opinion of Kanye West, there is no denying his status as a heavyweight, A-list celebrity.

The 39 year old musician first gained prominence as a producer for Roc-A-Fella Records, mixing beats for the likes of Jay Z and Alicia Keys. His first album, The College Dropout, was released in 2004 and enjoyed widespread critical and commercial success.

There was no looking back. West continued to innovate, pursuing various styles and releasing a further seven albums – as well as a clothing line and a range of Yeezy sneakers. Hand in hand with his creative output, West enjoyed courting controversy. He accused George Bush of “not caring about black people” live on air, during a telethon in aid of Hurricane Katrina Relief.

West also famously invaded the stage at the 2009 MTV Music Video Awards – stealing the microphone from Taylor Swift to announce that Beyonce’s video was “one of the best videos of all time”. The interruption resulted in public derision, and President Obama calling him a “jackass”.

The final piece in the Kanye West puzzle is his wife: reality star Kim Kardashian. The pair married in May 2014 and have two children, North and Saint. The couple’s high celebrity status makes their relationship a never-ending saga for a fame-hungry global audience.

FOUR REASONS WHY BLACKJACK IS THE GAME FOR KANYE WEST

  1. West sampled a band called Blackjack for the Jay Z track, Never Let Me Down
  2. One of West’s biggest hits was the 2005 smash Gold Digger – an anthem for blackjack players everywhere!
  3. Blackjack is a casino game that requires a little sharp thinking, and Kanye is definitely canny
  4. West is super confident, will double down on his decisions and splits opinion.

So, what casino game are you?! Visit our site and tell us what is your favourite casino game.

 

Donald Trump

Age: 70
Profession: President
Celeb Status: Ginormous… Bigly… Yuge
Famous For: Grabbing inappropriately, going bankrupt many times, being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, disliking Mexican immigrants, mocking disabled journalists, promising to make America great again, winning the 2016 presidential election, being the colour of a cheesy Wotsit, having hair like a Shredded Wheat, married to immigrant Melania Trump

NOMINATED GAME: SLOTS

The Donald is everywhere. Pollsters, pundits, purveyors of political wisdom, and hoards of over-confident Hillary fans, were left with egg-covered faces following the shock result of the 2016 Presidential election. Trump’s campaign fanned the flames of prejudice but appealed to a massive swathe of the US electorate.

Ignored, sidelined, jobless, and poor, these disgruntled voters hate Hillary with a vengeance and believe that New York’s finest will lead them to a Norman Rockwell infused nirvana, where the apple pie is sweet, the picket fences are white, and the star spangled banner waves o’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

One thing is undeniably true about Trump: he loves to gamble. Although, it’s normally with other people’s money, the Donald loves a punt. From mediocre mail order steaks to bogus real estate universities, Trump has risked chips on a variety of shaky and successful ventures.

Trump even spun the reels on the casino business, when he invested heavily in several Atlantic City casinos. Trump Entertainment Resorts was set up by the President elect in the early 1980s. By 2014, the group had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection four times. Trump escaped the financial meltdown with some canny accounting.

Four Reasons Why The Slots are Perfect for Donald Trump

  1. Donald Trump is too busy to deal with rules – just hit the button and spin the reels
  2. Slots are big players in Las Vegas, accounting for more than two thirds of the city’ total gaming revenue
  3. There’s a Las Vegas slot machine called the Apprentice that features Mr Trump
  4. He’s 70. Slots are a huge hit with OAPs

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Miley Cyrus

Age: 24
Profession: Pop Icon
Celeb Status: Ball wrecker
Famous For: Swinging on demolition equipment, introducing twerking to the masses, wearing very few clothes, going from wholesome Hannah Montana teen idol to controversial pansexual Lolita-style pop icon, married to no one.

NOMINATED GAME: CRAPS

Craps is the perfect game for Miley Cyrus. The girl is whip smart, could understand the rules, and would be a dream shooter to see at the table. It’s easy to dismiss Cyrus as a fleeting pop starlet, pulling on daddy’s purse strings, flaunting her body in search of a sensation driven dollar. In fact: she’s a lot smarter than that.

Miley is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, best known for his smash hit debut single: the country song Achy Breaky Heart. She auditioned for the Disney show Hannah Montana and ended up in the lead role because of her singing and acting abilities.

As Cyrus morphed from tween to teen to young adult, she started wearing less and less clothing. Eventually, she would end up naked, swinging on a wrecking ball, breaking hearts, upsetting the morally upright, and raking in a fortune. Hannah Montana was no more. A sexualised Cyrus had been unleashed and world just couldn’t get enough.

Although detractors can argue that Cyrus only got where she is because of Daddy’s help and a willingness to disrobe, she is also a politically active philanthropist, vegan, and liberal activist. Cyrus has donated her work and time to causes like Amnesty, the Red Cross, and many more. She puts her hand in her pocket and takes a principled stand.

Four Reasons Why Miley Cyrus is All About the Craps

  1. Miley Cyrus is smart. Craps is complex. She gets it.
  2. Having Cyrus shoot the craps would send any table wild
  3. She wrote a song called ‘7 Things’ – it’s the most important dice roll in craps
  4. Cyrus is not afraid to take a risk and roll the dice of life

 

Nigel Farage

Age: 52
Profession: Xenophobe
Celeb Status: Ubiquitous, unfortunately
Famous For: Drinking beer and smoking fags, being deeply suspicious of Johnny Foreigner, getting the UK out of the EU, being Donald Trump’s BFF, leading then not leading but still leading (but not really) UKIP, saving £350 million for the NHS (not), being rude to EU MPs, married to Kirsten Mehr.

NOMINATED GAME: BACARRAT

Sadly, no one is making plans for Nigel. This means that the former city trader has far too much time on his hands and likes to spend it rocking the European boat. 2016 has been a red letter year for Mr Farage. His ability to stoke fear about immigrants, and promise a life-saving cash injection for the NHS, helped persuade enough people to vote for a Brexit.

Farage probably sees himself as a dashing, well-tailored, hero leading his nation to safety; a suave, debonair, gentleman working on behalf of her majesty: a modern day James Bond. This is why we’re sitting Nigel at the baccarat table.

Ian Fleming’s James Bond smoked 70 cigarettes a day. Nigel definitely loves to chuff a fag. Bond is partial to a dry martini – Farage is content to sup down a pint of ale. Bond has survived innumerable close shaves and dangerous situations. Farage has survived a serious car accident, testicular cancer, and a plane crash. You may not agree with his politics but Nigel is definitely a fighter… and a very good one, based on recent form.

Not content with leading the UK into uncharted waters, Nigel also very publicly waved the flag for his US-based kindred spirit and He Man lookalike: the Trumpster. As the rest of the world looked on and chortled, wiser counsel remembered the shock of Brexit and put a tenner on Nigel’s tip for the US election. Farage was right again and has now earned a place on Donald’s quick dial BFF list.

Farage is now being tipped for a lordship or knighthood. As the world slides towards a hate-fuelled right-wing morass, Nigel can take great pride in being one of the architects of this global lurch to the dark side.

Four Reasons Why Nigel Farage is A Natural Born Baccarat Player

  1. Like the game of baccarat, Farage’s ancestry is French
  2. Nigel is comfortable around bankers
  3. Baccarat is perceived as a card game for elites
  4. The numbers go only as high as nine – you’ll never get to £350 million

 

Rihanna

Age: 28
Profession: Being Rihanna
Celeb Status: Epic
Famous For: Being Beyonce’s stunt double, a social networking queen, an on-off relationship with Drake, a violent relationship with Chris Brown, always keeping out the rain with her umbrella-ella-ella-ella, one of the sexiest women of her generation, married to no one…

NOMINATED GAME: ROULETTE

People of a certain age will be confused by Rihanna. Pop stars by their very nature are destined to confuse older generations. In the 1960s, people over the age of 40 perceived The Beatles as four ill-mannered, Liverpudlian, mop-tops with little real talent. A steady audio diet of Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller, and Irving Berlin meant that rock and roll left a nasty taste in the mouth. Rihanna is confusing to people born the other side of the 21st century.

Rihanna is the millennials’ Madonna. She admits to modelling herself on the 1980s icon and her instantly forgettable oeuvre of throwaway pop trifles perfectly fits the bill. However, as snidey as that comment is, Rihanna is worth upwards of $160 million. Not bad for a 28-year-old girl from Barbados.

We think roulette is just the ticket for this sassy mezzo-soprano. Her scattergun approach to relationships is a perfect fit for the random nature of the roulette table. Her musical styles have varied from reggae and soca to hip hop, dubstep, and R&B. If she was laying chips, she would be spreading them across the table.

Rihanna is also rumoured to be working on the new Ocean’s Eight movie: the all-female spinoff from the Ocean’s Eleven franchise. With Las Vegas at the heart of these films, you can expect see Ri-Ri rockin’ the roulette wheel sometime soon.

Four Reasons Why Rihanna Rocks It at Roulette

  1. She once wrote a song called Russian Roulette
  2. Rihanna likes to keep her options open: black, red, even, and odd…
  3. Judging from her bank account, she’s great with numbers
  4. Wherever the ball stops, Rihanna can reinvent herself and make it a win

Click here to start playing and tell us which casino game are you!

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